


Story Six: Time for a Wedding

by posingasme



Series: Too Much and Not Enough [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 05:17:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3278183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/posingasme/pseuds/posingasme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who doesn't love a little torture?</p><p>Dean expected a one stop Vegas wedding, but Pamela's mother has an entire weekend of fun planned for the whole family. There's no sign of John Winchester, and Dean is tired of waiting for Castiel to man up for his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Story Six: Time for a Wedding

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosworms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosworms/gifts).



Dean Winchester was a simple man. He loved his car, he armchair coached the defensive line of his beloved Dallas Cowboys, and he worked seventy hours a week. He liked his beer from a bottle, but wouldn't turn down a mason jar, and when he wanted a fight or a sandwich, he went and got it himself. Complexity was not his style. He had seen most of the country before he was a teenager, and he knew how to survive on a tank of gasoline, a black coffee and a change of clothes, but he had no desire to run anymore.

He was happy with his life.

That was not to say that he was not, on occasion, monumentally pissed at the universe.

Sam was rubbing his eyes again on his side of the table. "I'm sorry. How was I supposed to know the difference between an invitation and an announcement? I thought they were the same thing."

"Why would you let Pamela's mom send either one of those things to Harry or Ed? What's wrong with you?"

Now Sam turned his so-done glare on his brother. "Dean, they're family."

"So? Ain't like we have reunions! I haven't seen them or the other cousins since Samuel's funeral, and I only went to that to spite Dad!"

"When's Dad coming, by the way?"

Dean growled audibly. "Let's not go there right now, okay?"

"He give you a hard time about the ring?"

"What did I say, Sammy? Did I say let's not go there?"

“Was there any confirmation from Adam Mill-"

Dean leapt to his feet, unsettling his empty beer bottle. "Why are we even doing any of this?"

The younger man sat back in his chair and put his hand over his face. "Because you were stupid enough to propose before you met Pamela's mother."

"I didn't know! I mean, look at Pamela! How is anybody supposed to know she came out of Martha freaking Stewart's womb?"

"What did you think was going to happen?" Sam shouted with incredulity. "You'd go straight from proposal sex to honeymoon sex? There's the detail in between called the wedding, you moron!"

Dean's long legs carried him to the couch, where he dropped dramatically. "I figured we would go to Vegas or something!" he whined. "You, Cas, Benny brings Hannah, Jo and Charlie. That's it! That's the whole party! We go to Vegas, eight of us, we gamble, we drink, at least two of us wake up married, and the rest wake up hung over. One awkward call to Dad, and done."

"You really thought that?"

"Maybe!" Dean sighed. "Three groomsmen and three bridesmaids, some Guns and Roses, and rings. An hour tops."

"Well, your fiancé didn't spring fully formed from a Ramones concert. She came from a woman who makes Christmas wreaths out of something called meadowsweet, who can apparently put together the wedding of the century on a month’s notice. So get over here and keep working."

He sighed. "What else do I have to do?"

"Not much. You met Abby?"

"Which one is she?"

Sam's eyes rolled heavenward with exasperation. "Pamela's big sister!"

"No, asshat, I know who she is. Which one is she?"

"Oh." He glanced down at the papers. "Paired with Benny for the ceremony."

"What does that even mean?"

"I have no idea."

He groaned. "Guess we'll find out at the rehearsal. Freaking rehearsal! I mean, come on! How bad could we screw this up that we need to rehearse?"

"Abby?"

"I met her," he capitulated. "Built like Pamela, fire red hair, kind of thinks she's the queen of all she touches."

"Okay. You have to dance with her."

"Why?"

"It says so. And don't grab her ass or anything."

Dean snorted. "No kidding."

"Where the crap did you find the officiant? He sounded like kind of a head case on the phone, dude. What's his name?"

"Chuck something. Surly? Shurley? I don't know. Pastor Jim can't do it, and Ash wanted to use snakes, so this guy was the best choice."

"Right."

"What else?"

"Are we still not talking about Dad?"

Green eyes closed. "Sam."

"Okay. Moving on. Seating."

"Didn't Pamela's mom do all this crap already?"

He could see that his kid brother was nearing the end of his patience. It was almost amusing enough to cheer him up. "Dean, I told you. We're supposed to go over the details to make sure you don't need to change anything last minute."

"Okay. Shoot. Seating."

Sam cleared his throat and read from the list wearily. His voice cut off abruptly and he whirled to face his brother. "You invited Becky Rosen?"

"Dude, she's dating Kevin. I had to!"

"Becky Rosen is dating Kevin Tran?" Sam shrieked. "Didn't you warn him? What the hell kind of friend are you?"

"The kind who minds his own business when his buddy is getting tail."

The look his brother gave him brought on a twinge of guilt. "Dean! It's Becky Rosen! Stalker Becky!"

"She's not that bad."

"I was almost three years older, two feet and a hundred pounds bigger, and I nearly had to get a restraining order!"

"Look, I know. But she's probably mellowed a little, right?"

"I'm texting Kevin if you don't. You act like the kid's mentor and then you let him get mixed up with Glenn Close when you know she's going to boil his rabbits!"

A deep voice came from behind them. "Wow. That's...that's the second most disturbing conversation I've ever heard between two brothers."

Sam looked for a moment like he was praying for either patience or the ability to smite idiots. Dean guessed he would be happy with either one.

"Food bearer!" he called to Castiel in greeting. "Gimme!"

The man relinquished the bags with an amused smile.

Dean's teeth were tearing into his sandwich before Sam had even received his salad. "What's the first most disturbing?" he mumbled around the barbecue.

"It was Gabe and Raf, and I'd rather not reveal the extent of the emotional trauma I suffered that day."

"Fair enough. Sit. Regale me with talk of anything other than a big ass expensive party I don't get to sneak out of."

Castiel glanced at Sam, who threw his hands up in defeat. "I'm sensing that would anger the wedding planner here."

"Settle down, Francis!" Dean barked at his brother. "I'll get back to centerpiece talk in a minute. I need a break."

"Sorry, Francis," Castiel said with less than sincere sympathy.

Since it seemed that Sam was unsure which of them to subject to his death glare, he stabbed into his salad instead. "I don't like you two ganging up on me."

Dean smirked at Castiel. "Not my fault you hooked up with a guy as snarky as you." Then he cleared his throat. "Um. I gotta go call Pamela. She's been stuck with her sister all day. Cas, you want to...help me with something out here?"

Castiel glanced at Sam, then nodded. "Of course."

"Sammy, you look through the seating assignments and figure out if there's a chance of a brawl before they throw the flowers. I know. Put Dad with Ellen. Things get slow, we can watch her eat him alive."

Sam grunted as if it were not a bad idea.

Castiel kissed the giant man on the top of his head, then followed Dean out of the apartment.

He turned on his heel as soon as the door was closed, and Castiel had to stumble backward to avoid colliding with him.

"Dean, what-"

"You didn't do it!" he accused immediately.

A flush of guilt came over his friend's face, and the blue eyes lowered to the ground. "I know."

"The hell, dude? What are you waiting for? Divine intervention? Jesus, man, the guy is so on edge, his bitchface could cut its own razor if he tried to shave!"

Dean could practically hear Castiel's heart fall. "Why is he on edge?"

"Why is he-Why do you think? Come on, psych major! His boyfriend was accepted to be a graduate in residence at some school in Boston, beginning in three weeks, and he's stuck here for another year and a half without any promise from said idiot boyfriend who I happen to know bought a ring over a month ago but is too chicken shit to use it!"

Castiel flinched. "I'm waiting for-"

"If you say the right time, I swear to God I will stab you."

The inked hands went up with an air of defeat.

"When is the right time? When my little brother is lying in a sobbing heap on my floor drinking my best scotch like it's kool aid?"

"Obviously not."

"Well, you're not doing it at my wedding, because he's going to be busy holding my drunk ass up."

"And blocking the exits so neither you nor Pamela can run."

"That too."

He rubbed his eyes wearily. "How'd you do it?" he sighed.

"How'd I do what? Get myself engaged?"

"Yeah," he muttered from behind his long fingers.

"Mid-coitus."

"You're kidding."

"Nope. Not how I planned it, but it kind of just happened. She told her mom I did it over dinner, but the way Abby kept looking at me, I'm pretty sure she got the real story."

"What the hell, man?"

Dean scratched at the back of his neck. "I don't know, Cas. She asked what I'd like to do to her that I'd never done with a woman before, and somehow I blurted out that I wanted to marry her. Not my most romantic moment, and not the sexiest thing I've ever said in bed. But the ring was right there in reach, so whatever. You figure out something better for my kid brother, though."

His friend stared at him. "Well, you've set the bar kind of low for that one, buddy. I appreciate it."

"Blow me, Cas."

He sighed. "I'll do it tonight."

"No. He's already pissy tonight. Let the kid sleep first."

"Dean, tomorrow is the beginning of the weekend from hell."

"I'm so glad that's how you think of my wedding."

"That's how you think of your wedding."

Dean shrugged. "You should totally punk out your tux."

"I'm thinking my red plaid kilt with black combats, tux shirt and jacket, and maybe a faux-hawk."

"Nice. Pamela's mom will shit herself."

"Black eyeliner, of course. Special occasion. Want me to do yours?"

"Good," he laughed. "My dad can shit himself too."

It was less of a cringe and more of a look of sudden nausea that changed Castiel's expression. "Yeah. Can't wait for that moment."

"Don't worry about it. He's practically a non-entity in Sam's life, okay? Get through the weekend, and you might never see him again." He shoved Castiel back at the door. "Seriously though. Tomorrow. You're on deadline."

The younger man sighed. "Yes, sir."

"Come on. Grab your bags. I need to get on the road to the hotel right after we eat or I'm going to have a breakdown and run for the border instead."

***

The drive was only four hours, but Sam had fallen asleep quickly. Castiel was impressed with his boyfriend's ability to sleep through all the bitching the driver was doing. Initially, Castiel had asked for shotgun, and Sam had nearly knocked him down in his rush to claim it himself, appalled that his place of honor might be usurped. Castiel had snickered about understanding where he ranked now, and climbed into the back.

But now, Sam was curled into the backseat and snoring softly in spite of Dean's nervous energy.

Castiel turned to watch him from the passenger seat. The large man was wedged in, with his knees jutting into Dean's back. Oddly, that was the only thing Dean had not complained about yet.

He wished he could put Sam's head in his lap and smooth his hair while he slept.

Dean alternated between grumbling and singing with the radio, and Castiel had learned to tune him out. By the time they reached the hotel, they were both exhausted and they had each had entirely too much time to think about the coming weekend.

Sam always grabbed more than his share of the bags. Castiel felt a little silly allowing the man to carry all three garment bags, as well as the two backpacks, but Sam was already halfway down the sidewalk. He smiled and turned to Dean.

"He's always done that," the older man muttered fondly, staring after his brother. "Since he was big enough to carry one, he insisted on carrying two. God, I miss that kid." Then his eyes flew to Castiel as if he had forgotten anyone was listening.

But he was still smiling. He grabbed his laptop bag and said nothing. He liked the way he and Dean had bonded over complete devotion to Sam, instead of seeing one another as rivals for his affection. There would never be anyone who could possibly understand the depth of their sentiment for the younger man like one another. Sam was something special, something more than other people, and each of them felt an intense instinct to protect him. No one else would understand that. Sam seemed to be the last man to ever need protection. But that would never keep the two men who loved him from faithfully watching over him.

Dean tossed his bags on one of the queen beds. Castiel watched the brothers, leaning on the closed door. They were falling into a sort of choreography that fascinated him.

Without anything more than a few grunts and glances, they were navigating their space as if they had lived there for years. Sam had hung the garment bags, and now was busy removing the stiff comforters from the beds and folding them carelessly to slide them under the beds, leaving only the soft blankets. He retrieved the television remote and channel schedule and put them each on Dean's end table. Dean gave him a nod, and pulled his toiletries pouch from his own black bag, and swiped Sam's from the other bed on his way to place it on the bathroom sink. Sam worked on the coffee machine, setting it for early the next morning, and Dean emerged to adjust the temperature on the heater and throw the curtains closed.

Then a look passed between the brothers as they both stood to their full height to face one another. Castiel watched with interest as they each cupped their right fist in their left hand, then tapped it three times before holding their hands out to each other.

Sam laughed triumphantly and placed a hand on Dean's shoulder in mock sympathy. "Dean. Always with the scissors."

He received a glare in return.

His lover turned to Castiel now. "Hey. You want the shower?"

"No," he answered softly. It was a bit jarring to be acknowledged after being a silent observer for the last few minutes. "I want the bed."

Sam gave him a smile. "Okay. Mine, then!" he announced happily and hurried into the bathroom with his bag.

Castiel followed more slowly, and closed the door behind him. Without a word, he pulled out his toothbrush and went to work.

Sam let the water warm up, and kissed the back of Castiel's neck while he waited. "How you feeling?"

"Fine. Why?"

The man had wriggled out of his clothes, and now he shrugged his bare shoulders as Castiel watched him in the mirror. "I don't know. You just spent the past six hours eating and driving with my brother, who is a complete basket case. And you're doing that thing with your eyes."

"What thing?"

"That one," he confirmed as he climbed into the shower and tugged the curtain closed.

Castiel frowned at the mirror, but he was unsure what thing his eyes were doing. "I'm tired," he responded finally.

"Okay. We'll sleep."

"Tomorrow's schedule."

"Yeah," Sam called back. "Okay, we're getting breakfast just the three of us. Then we're heading for the rehearsal. Should take like two hours."

"Jesus," Castiel swore. "What the hell could we possibly screw up that would require two hours of rehearsing?"

A bright laugh floated over the water. "That's what Dean said, and honestly, I don't even know. Might just be Madge’s revenge for giving her five weeks to plan a wedding.”

"Okay," he sighed. "Then?"

"Then there's a lull in the action till dinner, which is here at the hotel. Then after that, the girls go do their thing and we take Dean out to keep him from diving off the roof.”

“And Benny’s taken the reins on that?”

“Apparently Dean wasn’t interested in a couple of guys who are sleeping with each other arranging for his bachelor’s party. So yeah. Pressure’s off till the next day when I have to make a speech in front of a bunch of people I don’t know.”

Things would be easier when it was their turn, Castiel mused as he pulled several piercings from his ears to stow in the case in his bag for the remainder of the weekend. There was no family on his own side, and at this point, most of their friends were mutual. With Hannah and Benny now head over heels, it was like the whole circle had closed together, and he could not think of a single person he would want to invite to celebrate with them who wouldn’t feel comfortable with everyone else there. Even Gabriel and Raf had begun hanging out with Hannah’s friend Crowley and Dean’s buddy Ash, which was admittedly something that worried Castiel a little bit, since there seemed to be no level of debauchery and mischief the four of them were unwilling to explore. He might have wanted to invite Madison, the volunteer coordinator at the animal shelter, except that he didn’t like the way she looked at Sam like she could eat him up. The only awkwardness might be John Winchester, and Castiel had faith that Dean would run interference on that end.

Their turn would be much easier.

He found himself staring into his bag at the small box he had hidden next to his piercings case, where Sam would have no reason to look. A lull in the action. After the rehearsal. It would have to be then.

“I’m going to bed,” he muttered.

He was surprised Sam could hear him. “Okay. Tell Dean I’m nearly done. I know he’s chomping at the bit to get in here. He worked all day, then drove all night. I just need another minute to warm up.”

“I know, pup.” He wandered out of the bathroom and pushed the door closed again. “Sam says he’ll just be another minute.”

Dean nodded. “Place like this has enough hot water. I’ll live.” He was sitting on the bed, staring down at his hands. “Cas?”

Castiel stripped off his top shirt, his boots and his socks, then fell face first into the bed, still wearing his jeans and tee. “Yeah?” he murmured.

“Am I going to be the worst husband ever if I already want this weekend to be over?”

“I think you’d be stupid to not want this weekend to be over.”

“Sam wrote his speech yet?”

He sighed. “No, but he’s stressing about it, so there’s that.”

“Okay. Good. Not good, but you know.”

“Right.”

They were quiet again until the shower shut off. Dean grabbed his bag and trudged toward the bathroom door when they heard Sam crashing around inside. Castiel’s eyes were closed, but he listened to the exchanges between the brothers with a deep fondness. They were barbing one another, yet Castiel had come to understand that this was yet another of their means of showing affection. He sighed and took the opportunity to climb out of his jeans and under the blankets. It was awkward sharing a room with Dean, but all three of them had silently agreed to pretend it wasn’t. There had been just one comment since they had decided it was the most prudent move, and that was Dean informing Sam that if he heard sex noises, he was going to break one of them with the other.

He had drifted off by the time he felt Sam’s large body slide in next to his. The whole bed warmed pleasantly, and he turned to snuggle into the man’s arms, breathing in his clean scent. “You really okay, Angel?”

“Of course.”

“Your feet are cold.”  

“That’s why I have you.”

Sam grunted as he felt the chill reach his calves, but only held Castiel closer to him. “Is that why?” he teased.

 “Something like that. You have a great ass too.”

“Will you still love me when I make an idiot out of myself at the wedding?”

“Probably. How big an idiot are we talking?”

“About six feet four and a half inches.”

Castiel buried his nose into Sam’s throat, and breathed in his favorite smell again. “The last half an inch is just too much. Sorry.”

“I knew it.”

He laughed wearily. “Sleep, pup.”

“Good night, Cas. I love you.”

The smile crept up on him, and he pushed tighter into Sam’s embrace. “Good.”

***

Breakfast was entirely made up of Dean bitching and Castiel glowering at everything. Sam was enjoying the company all the same. He was used to both of them. Dean was nervous and Castiel had not gotten nearly enough sleep, but Sam himself was bursting with energy. He had left the two of them sitting moodily at the table, and had gathered mountains of pork products and potatoes for his brother and a massive bowl of yogurt and granola for his angel. After delivering them and two black coffees and juices to the growling men, he returned to the buffet to help himself. He created a plate of pancakes, doused them in syrup and dumped strawberries on top, then added a bowl of cereal with fruit, and put a juice on the tray. He happily bounded back to join his two favorite people in the world.

After the consumption of food and coffee, his friends were beginning to show signs of returning to life. He called to check on Charlie and Jo, then confirmed details about the night ahead with Benny by text. He had written his speech before Dean and Castiel had awoken, but he spent some time going over it again while the other men bumped into each other, irritably getting ready for the day’s events. Dean had gone into the hall to call Pamela, and now Castiel was staring blankly into the mirror above the dresser none of them were using.

“What’s wrong, Angel?”

The blue eyes cut toward him. “Nothing.”

“Cas?”

“I’m figuring out how normal I need to be.”

He smiled to himself. “Wear whatever you want.”

The gaze Castiel gave him now was full of love. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. But thank you for pretending like it is.”

Sam shook his head, then reached up to touch his lover's face gently. "Cas, don't forget that I fell in love with you."

The man's eyes gave a slow, catlike blink, and then he found his arms full of angel. Castiel's lips were on his, a strong hand gripping into the back of his neck as if he would pull Sam's mouth down to meet him if necessary. The other hand was deep into brown hair. His own arms wrapped his lover tightly, pressing him against his chest where he belonged.

When at last Castiel drifted away, Sam sighed happily and let his fingers linger on the man's wrist an extra moment before finally releasing him.

Castiel looked into the mirror again, but this time he smiled.

Sam went back to his speech. He had read through it twice more before Dean blew back into the room.

"Sam, tell me I have to get married."

He tried not to smile. "Dean, you've come this far, okay? You're right there at the finish line. Just suck it up and cross over."

"Yeah," his brother said quietly. "Practically done already."

"Right. Just stay focused. I really think this thing today will go by plenty fast."

It didn't.

The rehearsal was miserable. Sam had done some theatre in high school, mostly tech work, and he was reminded of every excruciating hour of blocking. He could tell by the look on Chuck's face that these things tended to go much faster, but Pamela's mother was a nightmare. Abby spent her time winking at Benny and scaring the crap out of nearly everyone else, except Jo, who looked like she might put her uncomfortable shoes through the woman's skull.

And there was still no sign of John.

Sam could see his brother trying to focus on the instructions and the arguments between Pamela and Mrs. Barnes, but he could also see the green eyes flitting sharply at the door with increasing frequency.

Finally they seemed to have rehearsed to the satisfaction of Mrs. Barnes, so they all went their separate ways in relief. Sam heard more than one grumble about needing a nap, and he expected that to be Castiel's preference as well. The man had been virtually silent the entire rehearsal, except for a few snickers exchanged between him and Benny. Now he leaned in to whisper to Dean.

For the first time all morning, Dean produced a genuine smile and he smacked Castiel so hard on his back, the younger man stumbled forward. Dean followed it up with a wink.

Sam was pleased that his brother liked Castiel so much. He had never liked Jess even remotely, though he had always been civil to him. Sam had never bothered introducing anyone else. It made Sam extremely happy to see Dean and Castiel sharing grins, even when it sometimes meant they were up to something or enjoying themselves at Sam's expense.

Castiel touched his arm briefly. "I'd like to get some lunch. Dean is going to Pamela's room to catch a nap-"

"I bet."

"So it's just us. Have energy for me to take us out?"

"I guess so. I'm surprised you don't just want to go back to the room."

He licked his pink lips carefully. "Look, there's a place halfway between here and the hotel I'd like to try. We could walk, if you're not too cold."

"You going to keep me warm, Angel?"

The smile he expected was strained.

"You okay?"

Castiel nodded, but then he froze with his blue gaze staring past Sam's shoulder. "That's him, isn't it?"

Sam was immediately flooded with conflicting emotions. His eyes sought Dean before he even bothered turning toward the door. He had stopped breathing when Castiel had spoken but now that he could see Dean drawing himself up to his full height and walking toward them with confidence, he found he could breathe again.

He turned slowly, as if he were afraid of falling.

John Winchester was an imposing figure even when he was just standing in a doorway. He was dark, silent, but Sam knew his eyes were floating over the entire scene. Many of the others had left by now, and Sam had seen his brother flick his eyes from Pamela to her mother. Pamela had taken her mother's arm and lead her and the officiant from the room without a word. Perhaps Pamela was a little bit psychic after all.

Dean did not approach John. Instead, he waited beside Castiel and Sam for the man to come to them. Sam could feel his brother tensing for a fight.

But John was smiling when he crossed the floor. He put his hand out to Dean, and the hope in his eyes was clear.

Dean hesitated only an instant before taking the hand and allowing himself to be pulled into an awkward hug.

"Hey, son."

Sam felt overwhelmed immediately. He stumbled back two steps to watch his hero and his father embrace for the first time in many, many years, and he was suddenly reminded that heroes can have idols too. Sometimes they were tarnished idols, but idols all the same.

Green eyes closed painfully just for an instant. Then Dean clapped his father on his back and stepped apart. "Dad, this is my buddy Cas. Standing up for me tomorrow. He's Sam's roommate at school."

Sam saw Castiel's eyes flicker from one brother to another. Then he put his hand out. "Mr. Winchester," he murmured in a strange parody of his own voice.

John shook his hand. "Good to meet you, kid." Then he turned finally. "Sammy."

"Hey, Dad."

"Where you been, Dad?" Dean asked quietly. "Supposed to be here."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm here now."

A hundred memories assaulted Sam then, and he had to close his eyes against it all. _Supposed to be here. Here now_. It was the six word childhood he remembered.

"I'd like to take you boys to lunch if you'll let me."

Sam stood passively. Dean would decide. He watched as Castiel sent a severe frown to Dean, who reached out and touched his friend's arm in reassurance.

"Dad, you need to meet Pamela's family. We'll take her, Abby, and their parents to lunch. And I'll pay."

There was a moment spent watching Dean and their father staring one another down, and Sam wanted to disappear entirely, but then John nodded. "All right."

Dean took a deep breath that expanded his chest and flared his nostrils. He turned to Sam very deliberately. "You two go, but if you're late for dinner, I will personally rip you apart."

In spite of the threat, Castiel seemed grateful for the dismissal. He nodded.

Dean gripped his arm then let it go. His face softened. "Stick to the plan," he murmured.

Sam frowned nervously. "What plan?"

Dean glanced at him. "The one where your ass shows up at dinner in time!"

There was an uncomfortable smile on John's face when Sam looked at him again. "Dad?"

"You got so tall," he muttered.

He frowned. "It hasn't been that long since you saw..." Then he stopped. Because it had been a long time. A very long time. Two years at least. And John had not been sober for most of his last visit. It was why Dean had not bothered to invite him back until now.

"I've missed you, Sammy."

He nodded, a lump of emotion forming in his throat. "Missed you too, Dad. I'll see you at dinner, all right?"

"Right."

The walk to the restaurant was colder than Sam expected it to be. Castiel's hand was warm, but he felt the chill reaching every part of him, almost right away. It was only two blocks in that he began to wonder if he were having a heart attack, which would be a shame considering it was the day before his brother's wedding.

Castiel was holding him before he realized it. He was on his knees on the sidewalk, trying to suck air into his lungs, but failing miserably. His chest was too tight, and his throat was closing.

"Okay, baby," Castiel was saying when the pounding of his heart dulled enough to allow him to hear again. "It's okay. Just breathe, pup. Can you breathe?"

Castiel spent several minutes coaching him out of his panic attack. Sam tried not to think of what they must look like to people passing by. He listened to his lover's voice, and nodded when he could.

When finally he could stand again and resume their walk, he leaned heavily on Castiel, who held him about the waist protectively. He felt like he was even heavier than usual, but Castiel did not seem to mind.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Okay."

They had rounded the next block before Sam spoke again. "I'm sorry."

Castiel's eyes cut to him with a frown. "For?"

"I get...overwhelmed."

"That's not something to be sorry for."

He shrugged. "It's just..."

"Too much," he finished for him.

Sam gave a small nod. "Cas, Dean is getting married. If you had asked me in high school who the last person on earth to get married would be, I'd say Dean. And here we are. Then it isn't a laid back ceremony at a justice of the peace. It's a full blown disaster complete with tuxes and speeches, all organized in five weeks, one of those weeks being final exam week. Dad's here, already on a bad note showing up hours late, though at least he's sober, and Dean thinks he has to introduce you as my roommate to protect us. And then there's you."

"Me."

He closed his eyes briefly and simply let Castiel guide their steps. "Of course, you. I mean, you won't even tell me when you're leaving for Boston. I don't know if I'm living with Gabe for another semester or if I've got to find another place or what."

"I told you, Sam. I haven't solidified my plans yet."

"I-I know, I get it. But you can see that it's a lot of stress all at once."

Castiel nodded. "This is the place I want to try."

Sam looked up to find them in front of a Thai place at the corner of the city block. It looked far nicer that the places they normally chose. "How did you know it was here?"

"Looked it up on my phone while Madge was berating the officiant and your brother."

"Okay. Looks a bit pricey."

"I don't care. Reviews said it was the best Thai in the city."

Sam smiled. "Nice. All right. Who needs textbooks in January when you can have pad thai in December?"

"I'll pay. I'm done buying textbooks until August."

"Good point," Sam laughed. "You pay."

By the time their lunch arrived at their table, Sam was feeling much better about everything. Yes, he had a speech to practice and yes, he would have to soon think about Boston taking his angel away, but for now, he was going to enjoy himself. Dean would take care of their father, and Benny would take care of Dean.

"Is it all right?"

Sam looked up. "You keep asking that."

"I just want to make sure you're happy."

He laughed quietly. "Cas, relax. I'm eating a great meal, sitting across from a beautiful man, and I'm refusing to think about anything else. I'm happy."

Castiel was nodding very slowly. There was an odd look on his face, and Sam suddenly remembered how intensely he had frowned at Dean when John had tried to take his sons to lunch.

"You all right, man? It isn't my dad, is it? He's not a bad guy. It's just we don't know one another anymore, so it's awkward. That's all."

"No. It's all right. Dean told me to just follow his lead with John and he'd take care of everything."

Sam smiled. "Yeah. That was the first thirteen years of my life, in that sentence."

Castiel nodded toward Sam's plate. "Is it okay?"

He set his fork down. "Cas? What's wrong?" He studied the man for a moment. Castiel had removed his facial piercings, and left only two earrings in his right ear and one at the top of his left. He wore a plain black hoodie over a gray tee and comfortable jeans. His tattoos teased out at his neck collar and skittered down his hands. Sam's eyes were drawn to the small graceful markings between Castiel's thumb and finger, depicting a tiny cat and dog, representing the two of them.

He wondered if the man would tell anyone in Boston what that one was about.

"Nothing is wrong," Castiel murmured finally. "Sam, we have been together for a year now. That's a long time for men like us, who don't attach to people easily."

Sam gave him a warm smile. "You were easy to attach to," he responded.

"And you were impossible not to attach to. Sam, I know you're worried about Boston."

A twinge of anxiety pinched his insides, but he smiled through it. "It's a good opportunity. I know that." All of the sudden, a hollow feeling came over him, and he took in a breath through his nose. _Jesus_. This was it? Really? The day before he had to stand up for his brother and talk about how wonderful it was to be in love, that was the day Castiel finally told him it's been fun, thanks for the memories but Boston doesn't have phones or airports or Internet access? This was it?

The man, who had never committed himself to anyone other than a college admissions board before meeting Sam, looked at him from under his dark hair. Those eyes seemed to burn into Sam, and his face flushed red. “Sam?”

“I don’t want to do this today.”

Castiel’s eyes widened. “What?”

Sam wanted to stand up and bolt for the door, but he was not stupid. There was nowhere for him to go. He was not going to bail on his brother, and even if he wanted to, he had no car, no escape. He was trapped.

There was no exit strategy for loving Castiel. With Jess, he had always found himself wondering what he would do without him, but it had never been that way with Castiel. He had not built up any kind of wall to protect his heart. There was no plan B here. The only option was to love Castiel, and he would have to stick with that no matter what Castiel’s plan was. No matter how far away he was, no matter what he was doing or who he was with, there would always be a man out there drowning in heartache wishing he would come home. There was no exit strategy because every door and window was bolted, and there would be no exit from this.

He could not speak. He simply stared miserably at the table and waited for a wave to crash over him.

“Sam, what don’t you want to do? What is it you think we’re doing?”

He licked his lips, and forced air past his vocal cords using only the power of his stubbornness. “You’re telling me about Boston. And I’m telling you it’s all right. That you deserve opportunities like this. You’re smart, Cas, and you’re going to be working with important people doing important research. It’s okay.”

“What’s okay?”

He wanted to punch him. Why was he making this difficult? “That you’ve got to go.” Then it occurred to Sam that Castiel might feel guilty leaving him behind like this. He took a breath and forced the words out. “What? I’ll be okay. You don’t think I’ll be fine? You gotta do what you’re supposed to do, and I’m going to do what I have to.” _Like curl into a ball on Dean’s bedroom floor and fade into death_. “We’re not kids, Cas. I know what Boston means.” _It means hollowness and starvation_. “You’re right. We had a really fantastic year.”

Castiel stared at him for a moment, then nodded. “Sam, you’re saying it’s all right if I go. That you don’t need me to stay.”

He felt the words like a punch to his throat, and it took him a moment to gather his strength again. “Cas, I won’t pretend like I’m not going to miss you for a while.” _Forever_. “But you’ve never stayed in one place, or with one person. You can’t think I didn’t see this coming.” _Blindsided_ , his heart screamed. _Completely, totally blindsided_.

Blue eyes closed, and Castiel suddenly looked sick to his stomach. “You would miss me for a while.”

 _Please don’t make me say this again_ , he pleaded silently. _I’ve never lied to you before now_. “Castiel, I’ve loved you for a year. I can’t just turn that off. But I’ll be fine, if I know you’re happy.”

The man’s mouth opened as though he had been struck, but he stared down at his inked hands and continued to nod. “Good,” he said blandly. “I’m glad to hear it.”

Sam sighed. Today had started out so well. And now he could see the rest of his life strung out before him, and it looked like a nightmare. He did not even want to know what tomorrow was going to feel like.

***

Castiel had heard Sam’s words, but he could not process them. There was no way, no possible way, that Sam meant what he had just said.

What had he expected?

For one thing, he thought as a spark of anger lit behind his eyes, he had expected to at least get more than two sentences out himself before Sam rejected him. He had braced himself all month for every possible way this could go badly. This was not one of the scenarios he had prepared his heart for.

Had he been wrong? Dean too? They thought they knew Sam so well, but maybe…

Castiel blinked hard against burning tears, and gritted his teeth. He looked into Sam’s eyes with an intensity that made the man’s face open up in a flinch. “No,” he breathed finally.

“No what?” Sam croaked.

Anger flushed out the heartbreak, and Castiel’s fierce glare broke Sam open even further. “No,” he said again, more firmly.

There came another flinch, and with it a disobedient tear flew down Sam’s cheek, betraying the plastic smile the man was trying to fit onto his face. “Cas,” he whimpered.

The older man wanted to throw the table from between them, to hear the satisfying crash and feel things shattering at his feet. But instead, he took a deep breath and dampened his temper with practiced discipline.

“Cas?”

“You love me,” he growled.

Sam’s eyes closed, and pain shuddered through his whole body.

“Why are you doing this? You promised me,” he hissed. “You said you’d fight for us.”

To his surprise, a bitter laugh spiraled out of Sam’s mouth. “I didn’t think I’d have to fight against you,” he said with a voice that was far older than twenty years.

Castiel sat back. “Sam, tell me the truth now. It’s important.”

The man shook his head angrily, all hurt eyes and bitter smile. “Why? Does it change anything? You’re leaving, and I’m not stupid enough to think you’re coming back. I thought maybe you wouldn’t go, but…Why does it matter what the truth is? You’re leaving, so just let us both pretend I’ll be fine with that. Let’s pretend I’m not going to starve without you. That the worst part wouldn’t be you leaving, but that I’ll always hope you’ll come back. Is that what you want to hear? You need me to tell you that I gave you everything, that you’ll be taking everything with you? How does that help? I still have to live. I’ve got to get through school, go to law school, take my bar, work a job, come home every day and go through the motions. So if you’re going to go, can’t we just pretend I’ll be fine? It’s easier for you, and it lets me think you have the impression I’ve got some pride. Win win.”

“What if I’ve got a different plan?”

Sam continued to glower at him for a moment, then seemed to realize what he had said. He sat back, watching him with suspicion. “What?”

He sighed. “Sam, don’t lie to me. I can see you-I can feel you hurting. Don’t pretend, and please don’t think you’re doing it to make things easier for me. That’s not fair.”

The hazel eyes lowered. Sam was breathing shallowly, but at least he was still breathing. After the panic attack on the way there, Castiel was worried they would not get through this.

“Sam, let me try this again, without you jumping to conclusions and breaking up with me for the sake of my own professional career. Okay?”

He received a tiny smile, and a bare nod.

He took a deep breath and backtracked. His head was spinning, but he forced himself to focus. “Sam, I know you’re worried about Boston, but I don’t want you to be. Because I’m not going to accept the position.”

Beautiful lips parted and a soft whimper escaped them.

Castiel felt a smile of relief cross his own face. “And the reason I’m not going to accept the position is that I want to stay in our city, at least for now. I’ve already been offered an internship that will get me to August when grad school starts, and I’ve been accepted into the research program at the university. Most of the time, you don’t do undergrad and grad work at the same place, but this professor received a new grant to study exactly what I’m looking for, and it’s a great opportunity. She’s going to let me take lead on it. So I’m not going anywhere, not for a few years.”

Tears were streaming unchecked down Sam’s cheeks now. He was staring at Castiel with every emotion he had ever felt written all over his face. But he did not speak.

He continued, gripping the object he had carried in his pocket all day. “I didn’t tell you because I wanted to wait until all the pieces fell together. With everything going on with the wedding and your exams and you were so sick last month, I just needed to know something wasn’t going to fall through before I mentioned it.”

Sam nodded quickly. “I’m sorry I assumed you had made up your mind,” he said quietly. “I’ve been trying to make myself accept it for weeks now. Cas, I’m so glad! I’ll support whatever you need to do, but, god, Cas, I’m so glad you’re not leaving.”

Castiel took hold of one of Sam’s hands, and brought the knuckles to his lips. “Sam, I love you. I’m not going anywhere unless you’re coming with me. Okay? Some people might be able to do the long distance thing. I don’t want that for us. You and I have spent our whole lives lonely. We shouldn’t have to do that anymore, not now that we’ve found each other. So please never tell me again that you’d be fine without me.”

“I wouldn’t be,” he breathed, releasing a whole new round of tears. “I wouldn’t be at all.”

“And neither would I. We’re lucky, Sam. We’re both very capable people, very independent. We don’t need anyone for anything, not in a practical way. We’re both hard workers. We’re both strong. So it’s okay to be an emotional team, all right? It’s okay to tell me you need me to stay. I know you’d survive without me, Sam, that isn’t the point. We’re better together. We don’t need one another to survive, but we deserve to be happy. We need each other for that.”

“Thank you.” It was barely a whisper, but Castiel heard, and he responded by brushing his lips on the large hand again.

“It’s okay for you to tell me what you need. And there’s something I need from you.”

“Anything, Cas. You know that.”

He breathed deeply through his nose, wondering why he was still so anxious about this. He pulled his clenched fist out of his pocket. “Pup, I’ve been waiting for everything to fall into place, like I said. And it has. And…I want you marry me. Okay? Will you? Marry me?”

Sam watched as his fingers uncurled around the ring, the ink in his fingers providing a strangely beautiful backdrop for the jewelry he had designed.

“Sam?”

The puppy dove across the table, grabbing Castiel’s shocked face in a wild kiss that smothered his cry of surprise. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if they had completely destroyed the place with broken lunch plates and spilled glasses, but elsewhere, his mind was just buzzing happily. He held tight to the ring until Sam let go, and when he did, he burst into laughter.

Miraculously, the table’s contents seemed to have survived the assault when Sam dropped back into his seat, a look of complete contentment on his face.

“Sam?” Castiel laughed breathlessly. “Can that be a yes?”

He rolled his eyes. “Of course it’s a yes, jackass!”

The older man could feel the stares from around the room. He chuckled and quieted his voice. Several groups and pairs seemed to know what was going on, and they smiled to themselves or rolled their eyes at the public display. One man sitting with a lovely young woman met Castiel’s eye and winked at him as Sam grabbed the ring to stare at it. The woman in his company sighed wistfully at Sam’s expression. Castiel lowered his eyes back to the table, and breathed in relief.

It was done. It was done, and it was good. Now he could relax and enjoy the weekend without the constant anxiety. He finally admitted to himself that he had not truly expected Sam to say no. He had prepared himself for it as well as he could, but his bigger worry was that he would mess up what should be a special moment for Sam. In spite of the tears and hurt that had come before, he was satisfied that he had at last gotten it right, and he could sit back and take pleasure in the man’s appreciation of the ring and the enormous smile on his face.

Sam looked up from the jewelry suddenly. “Did Dean know about this?”

Castiel shrugged guiltily. As his muscles released the tension he had carried for weeks, he felt a bone deep weariness setting in. “Maybe.”

“He did! You two planned this!”

Another shrug. “Not…exactly. I showed him the ring. So he knew it was coming.”

“When?”

“What?”

  “When did he know?”

Castiel cringed. “Before Thanksgiving. I showed him the ring the night he proposed to Pamela. We kind of…talked about it before we did it.”

“Jesus, when did you and my brother get to be best friends? I swear, that is the weirdest part of this whole thing! I can’t believe my own brother knew you had a ring for over a month!”

“He helped me figure out your size.”

“Unbelievable.”

He sighed. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the waitress trying to get his attention, as if to ask if it was all right to approach with the check. He waved her toward them. “Sam, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and a small part of that is that I’ve gained your brother as a friend because of you. I never even thought he’d like me, and from the first day, he’s been coaching me through our whole relationship. You might think it’s weird, but remember that I never had a big brother.” He took the billfold from the silent waitress, put his card into it and handed it back with a smile.

Sam’s long lashes blinked slowly, the way they did when he was extremely happy. “Cas, I love you.”

“Good,” he murmured, taking the man’s hand. He placed the ring on the appropriate finger, and touched his face briefly. “Because I will always love you.”

***

Dean drained the champagne glass as if he were throwing back a shot. He watched Pamela and Abby laughing together across the dance floor, and smiled to himself. He did not need this ridiculous party, but he would never deny that woman anything that made her laugh like that. He knew Pamela would have been just as happy with Vegas as he would have been, but that did not mean she was not enjoying this scene completely. He found himself counting all the things that could have gone horribly wrong that didn’t, and all the things that went very right this weekend.

Sam had not stopped smiling since after lunch yesterday, when he had come back wearing a new silver ring and Castiel had come back completely drenched in relief. The lunch with John and Pamela’s parents had been uncomfortable, but Dean could fake a smile with the best of them, and he and Pamela did enough of the talking to put everyone at ease. Abby had invited herself along, and she had turned out to have enough stories to keep them all entertained.

He had taken his father aside afterward and thanked him for being there.

“Of course I’m here,” John had said, almost hurt.

“I know. I mean, I’m still…Thank you. Seriously. I’ve missed you, Dad. And I know Sammy has too. Don’t wait for another two years before we see you again, okay?”

John had smiled softly. “Didn’t know if you wanted me, son.”

“I didn’t want you interfering with Sam before. But he’s a man now, and a good one. You should get to know him, Dad. You’d be proud of him.”

“I’m proud of you.”

Dean had taken those words like a sudden collapsed lung. But he had managed to smile. “Thanks. You coming out with us guys tonight?”

“I’ll be at dinner, but I’ll stay out of the way for the stag party. I need some sleep before the big day tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Okay. You’re welcome if you change your mind.”

The smile he received tugged at his heart. “Thank you. Dean, I know I gave you a hard time about using your mom’s ring.”

Dean’s defenses hardened quickly, and he braced himself for an argument, the way he had too often in his teenage years.

 But John shook his head. “Pamela’s a good woman, and she makes you happy. I know your mom would want her to have it.”

He had let out the breath he had been holding too fast, and suddenly tears were stinging at the backs of his eyes. “Yes, sir,” he whispered.

“I’ll see you at dinner, Dean.”

He had planned to enjoy a tussle with Pamela before the dinner, but once he entered her hotel room, he had found that all he wanted to do was hold her. She was surprised, but she lay in his arms without a word, and Dean wondered if it was the most content he had ever been in his life.

The dinner had been formal and stuffy at first, but after some wine had flowed, the wedding party relaxed and began to enjoy themselves. Benny had made a toast, and then Jo had followed it with one of her own. Eventually, after everyone had eaten, there was a lot of milling around, and Dean saw John heading for Sam and Castiel at the other end of the room. He had squeezed Pamela’s hand briefly and followed him.

“Sam,” John was saying. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to do lunch. But I wanted to find out how you’ve been doing.”

Even the intimidating presence of John Winchester could not dampen the smile on his little brother’s face, but Dean could feel tension from his large body even from a few feet away from where he was sitting. “Good, Dad. School’s good. Halfway through junior year. Only three semesters to go before law school.”

Dean cleared his throat. “Dad, remember Castiel? Friend of mine, groomsman tomorrow. He and Sam…they’ve been together about a year now. And judging by the fact that Sammy’s wearing new jewelry tonight, I’m guessing you can look forward to another invitation soon.”

He could see Sam searching his father’s eyes as John processed this information. Castiel was standing behind Sam’s chair, looking for all the world as though he was guarding the enormous man. Now his blue eyes were narrowing, ready to protect Sam from anything which might upset him.

John nodded slowly, glancing at Dean, who raised an eyebrow in warning. Then he smiled, and put his hand out. “Welcome to a very strange family, Castiel,” he said gruffly. “Do you drink?”

Castiel shook the man’s hand, and tilted his head in suspicion. “I do.”

“Then come on. Let’s steal Pamela, and get something from the bar, and you two can tell me about you.”

The brothers watched as John placed a hand on Castiel’s back to lead him toward Pamela across the room. He spoke briefly to her, and received a smile, and then the three of them were walking across to the open bar together.

“What just happened?”

Dean took a deep breath. “I’m not sure, but I think he’s trying.” He coughed a bit. “Dude, he was pretty trashed that Christmas when you told him you were gay.”

“Yeah. I was just thinking that. You think he even remembered?”

“I’m going to say no.”

Sam shrugged. “Well, he took it pretty well just now. Is he drunk?”

“I haven’t seen him drink anything since he got here. And it looks like he’s just having a beer.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.” Dean shook himself, and turned to Sam then. “So? Am I right? You’re all ringed and shit?”

The younger man laughed. “Ringed. Yeah. I hear you knew over a month ago.”

“I had a hunch. Guy that stares down John Winchester like he’ll throw him out a window if he hurts your feelings isn’t going to leave undergrad without putting a ring on it. He wouldn’t be able to sleep thinking you’re walking around without a claim on you.”

“That’s the most disgusting way you could possibly look at this.”

“And also true.”

Sam shrugged. “Whatever. Pamela’s hot and all, but I think you’re kind of jealous.”

The morning of the wedding had been a blur, probably because the evening before had been a masterpiece of Benny’s design. It was a small group, just as Dean preferred it, and they had been able to relax and enjoy themselves without any tension. It wasn’t Vegas, but it was a wonderful night of brotherhood and beer, and Dean was entirely happy. The wedding had played itself out the way it should, and even Dean had to admit that he enjoyed seeing his friends and brother dressed beautifully. Pamela had been breathtaking, he had spent the entire ceremony staring at her, and without much warning, he had become someone’s husband.

The reception that followed was probably not as extravagant as Madge might have liked, but Edward had probably been relieved about that, considering they had insisted on paying for it. Dean had covered the rehearsal dinner and the officiant, but he had been relieved that the bulk of the expense, the wedding location and reception, had been claimed by Madge and Edward.

As he polished off another glass of champagne, he looked around him at all the happy faces. Sam had gotten his speech out of the way, and was now perfectly relaxed, lounging in one chair with his feet propped in another, while Castiel continued bringing drinks to him and feeding him cake. Charlie and Jo were making out by the bar, and Ash had cornered Chuck to talk about religion. Harry and Ed were both chatting up Becky Rosen, and Kevin had escaped just long enough for Abby to notice him, and Dean knew eventually someone would have to rescue him again. He nodded at Benny, who laughed and gave him a wink that said he and Hannah were on it. Probably the strangest pair in the large room was Ellen and John, who had not stopped chatting all night, as if they were old friends.

When a soft, strong hand slipped into his, Dean knew all was right with his world. He was a simple man, and he did not need much. His sweet car, his challenging jobs, his favorite beer, his loyal friends, his joined brothers, his amazing wife. He was perfectly, utterly content.

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU for those who leave comments! They are wonderful.
> 
> Hope you had fun!


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